Ted

TED

It's like a two-hour Family Guy episode starring Marky Mark

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2012, Comedy, Rated R

Distributed by Universal Pictures

          There's a lot to like about Ted...until you see it. It's the first film directed by Seth Macfarlane, creator of Family Guy, but you don't need me to tell you that: the promotional material milked the fact dry. That's really all it has going for it though. If this had nothing to do with Family Guy, I think people would disregard it more ferociously than they did Battleship. It's a pretty dumb movie. Some scenes are laugh-out-loud funny, but you'd expect more from Macfarlane.

          People are calling this movie "original" because there's a talking teddy bear in it. Other than that, nothing about this film is original. The main storyline involves Mark Wahlberg's character living with Ted, his magical talking teddy bear, while also attempting to hold a normal relationship with his girlfriend, played by Mila Kunis. Marky Mark is torn because he loves his teddy bear. They have been best friends (thunder buddies) since Ted began talking and all the while have been inseparable. Ted is getting in the way of Mark's and Mila's relationship. This was the main plot of Shaun of the Dead. Marky Mark just can't let his best friend go so his girlfriend almost leaves him. It's all about his attempt to balance the two relationships to please everyone. It's been done a million times.

          I dislike when movies sacrifice realism for jokes. Not just realism, but also continuity. Why is it that Ted can maul the muscley Mark Wahlberg and beat the crap out of him yet has no defense against the weak and thin Giovanni Ribisi? Because it's funny to watch a teddy bear beat up Mark Wahlberg. That's sacrificing continuity for jokes. I don't approve. Also, I realise that they have been friends for life, but come on Marky Mark, you're dating Mila Kunis: ditch the teddy bear and marry one of the most beautiful women alive immediately. There are so many scenes where he stops giving up his childhood and relapses back into hanging out with Ted instead of Mila. I have no sympathy for a character if he makes dumb decisions like that.

          Some of the best scenes are reminiscent of Family Guy. There are a few moments where we get those classic yet totally random flashbacks that Family Guy tended to employ to hilarious effect. One scene shows how Mila remembers their meeting for the first time and another how Mark remembers their meeting for the first time. They were very different, and cleverly so. 

          Yes it's funny, but it's also really stupid. The only draw is Seth Macfarlane. Hearing his voice come out of something animated after Family Guy is quite the treat, but I wanted to laugh way more than I actually did. I really wanted it to be great but it was just okay in this reviewer's opinion. There is an awesome non-speaking cameo by Ryan Reynolds that had me in stitches. Overall, though, I thought this movie was lacking.

          It's not a terrible film so it's definitely worth a watch. I wouldn't advise you go to the theater for it, but judging by the numbers it has put up, you probably already have.

          Side note: Although I am somewhat negative toward the likable Ted, I wouldn't discourage Macfarlane from further ventures into the world of film. Ted has enough hysterical scenes that have set me looking forward to his second adventure in film land, whenever and whatever that may be.